Mommy Bloggers and working out side the home.

I have not been writing on my blog because I've been feeling very discouraged by the mommy blogging world. I still love reading blogs but haven't felt like writing since my life seems so different from the stay at home moms and the stay at home working moms. I just simply don't have time to be going to play groups, making cute crafts and selling them on esty, and feeling the pressure to be this trendy mom is to overwhelming for me.

Today I read a post on Babble from Melissa at Dear Baby and it encouraged me to get back on here and write. Moms that work outside of the home need just as much support as the moms that stay home. I think I speak for most working moms that our biggest hurdle is mom guilt. This is a daily struggle for me. I feel guilty that I can't be home with my daughter there fore I feel guilty if I give myself to blogging, working out, and anything that may take time away from her. I hope that through my blog and Melissa's that a new world of working mother will come out of the wood works and encourage each other.

Changing Tide

The tides seem to be changing in my life. The weather is getting warmer and our life seems to be slowing down. I’m super excited about this change because it will allow me to focus on my family and my home. This summer will be more relaxed, no running around, no big trips, and no infant that we have to try and shade from the summer heat. I look forward to having more time with friends, getting our house painted and decorated. I also have swim lessons lined up for Joanna. I just love that my calendar is almost blank and intend to keep it that way. We need a break. I need a break.

I Left My Heart in San Francisco

The loveliness of Paris seems somehow sadly grey

The glory that was Rome is of another day

I’ve been terribly alone and forgotten in Manhattan

I’m going home to my city by the bay

I left my heart in San Francisco

High on a hill, it calls to me

To be where little cable cars climb halfway to the stars

The morning fog may chill the air, I don’t care

My love waits there in San Francisco

Above the blue and windy sea

When I come home to you, San Francisco

Your golden sun will shine on me

Leaving on a jet plane

I am in full trip planning mode since we leave on Saturday for our weekend getaway to California. I’m super nervous about flying with Joanna since she is in the middle of a teething nightmare. I believe she is cutting two in front and two molars but she won’t let me get a good look in her mouth so I’m not positive. Our plane also has to make a stop in Long Beach before heading to San Jose so that adds 45 min to the flight. We didn’t buy her a set to save money but I’m kind of regretting that decision. I hope maybe they will have some extra sets so that we can bring her car seat onboard. This is my game plan….

1.)    Feed Joanna her breakfast. Our flight leaves around 7:45am which is breakfast time so I’m really crossing my fingers we can hold her off till we get on the plane.

2.)    I have crayons, paper, and stickers I hope this last at least 30 min

3.)    I also bought pipe cleaners since I read kids her age seem to be fascinated by them so hopefully that last around 20 min

4.)    During the stop I hope that maybe Hubs is able to get up with her and maybe let her walk around a bit. This will also be Mommies regroup time. The Hubs is a ton of help don’t get me wrong but Momma carries most of the weight/stress and I have a totally Mommy’s Girl!

5.)    Story time- My girl loves books!

6.)    DVD- Best of Elmo 2 is still the only video she will watch for more than 5min. She will actually watch the whole 45min video over and over again. I just not to sure how this is going to work since she wont keep headphones on and I can’t just turn the volume way up.

Well I hope it goes well and Joanna stays a happy girl. I also hope I’m able to stay calm since I know she feeds off our emotions.

P.S. - I am bringing Benadryl but I will only use it if we’re desperate. I’m not big on drugging my kid up plus I don’t want her to be all groggy when we get there and she can’t even play with her cousin.

Water for Elephants

Sorry I haven’t blog all week. I’ve had my head buried in a book. All of you that know me now that I’m a total Twilight nerd so when I saw the preview for Robert Pattinsons new movie I knew I had to read the book. I’m so glad I did and it was a very easy read which wins huge points in my book. I don’t have the greatest reading comprehension so if I have to look up words in the dictionary or read a page numerous times to get what’s going on I lose interest. I haven’t read many books in my adult life because of this so easy reads are best for me. Parts of this book were very emotional for me because he’s telling his story as a 93 year old man in a nursing home. My 92 year old Grandmother died recently so the way the author describes his life in the nursing home is eerily fresh in my mind. Overall the book is just a sweet love story. None of the elements are missing it has anger, sadness, envy, longing and love. So… if you’re on the look out for your next good read pick up Water of Elephants by Sara Gruen and also leave a suggestion for me. I don't know what I should read next.

Keeping in check

The Hubs and I don’t really fight much. When we do it’s usually me being sensitive or feeling overwhelmed by something. I more thinking about those times when everyone one is tired and cranky. How do you keep yourself in check? I have a really hard time getting off my sassy horse when Joanna’s crying and everything that the hubs is doing to try and help doesn’t meet my expectations. I don’t want Joanna to see me being snappy at her daddy and vise versa. Unfortunately I am super dry and sarcastic; these are traits I would love to not have in my personality. The only purpose these traits have served for me is making everyone think I am “MEAN.” I’m not a mean person and I’m not the alfa b*tch wife. I am strong and just like to do things my own way. Who doesn’t? I just want to have more tools in my bag that help keep me calm, nice, and sweet, instead of cold, dry, and sarcastic. I want to be the best mommy and wife possible for my family and not pass down any of my ugly personality traits.

Disconnected

I’ve been feeling very disconnected with Joanna this past week. I think it’s mostly because I’m unhappy with her daycare at the moment. Since I can’t seem to put it all into words the bottom line is that her teacher is only there from 8-5. I don’t get to talk to her when we drop Joanna off nor when we pick her up since we work the same hours. I just don’t feel like I know what is happening in her day. Is she happy? Did she eat well? Did she interact during group activities? All these things that I want to hear from her teacher. I do get a piece of paper everyday that vaguely describes her day but it’s just not enough for me. When Joanna was in the infant room we would talk to her teachers for like 15-20min in the morning and the evening. Joanna was always happy when we picked her up and all was dandy.

Well…the past two weeks have not been like this at all! We drop her off in the infant room since her teacher isn’t there yet and we pick her up in the infant room since her teacher is already gone. We still have nice conversations with the infant teachers but they just don’t know how she was all day in the toddler room. Joanna also doesn’t seem happy when we pick her up. It might just be because she’s really tired but I don’t like that the second she sees us it’s like she falls apart. It also makes for a very long 45 min commute home. I don’t know maybe this is just mom guilt and it’s all in my head. I’m just super worried about my little Bug. Tonight calls for lots of extra snuggle time!