My life long friend over at Journal of a Mom wrote this great post today about comparing ourselves to other mothers. She writes about being who you are and to stop trying to fit into this perfect mold of a stereotypical mother. I totally agree with her whole post but it’s from a completely different point of view. It’s funny to be how we can all feel the same way about something but for different reasons.
I struggle with comparing myself because I feel like I am that stereotypical mom but I can’t be because I’m stuck in a cubical from 8-5. All I want to do is stay home put dinner on the table, clean, bake and do crafty things all day. I want to sit on the floor and sing songs with Joanna. Go play at the park and have play dates with friends. These feelings really get me down on a daily basis. We have an exit plan for me to stay home but it doesn’t feel anywhere in reach. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning myself with comparisons to stay at home moms. The envy can be unbearable. I have to remind myself several times a day that I’m still a good mother. I’m still Joanna’s number one. I have to remind myself that other people aren’t raising my child. The examples Mike and I set in our home will always have the biggest influence on her. She will always come to us for comfort and to share her joy. I might miss some “first moments” but it will be just as special the first time I see her do whatever it maybe. Sometimes I get angry when stay at home moms say how hard there lives are because all I can think of is how badly I want to stay home. I feel like saying I’ll trade you the getting up at 530am, the two hours a day on the road, and the 8pm dinners. Most of all I’ll trade you the guilt.
Having to put all these feeling aside and be the mom I’m meant to be is a daily routine. I know I’m a good mom. I know Joanna is with good people when she not with me. I know that Joanna will love me no matter if I’m working or staying home. If we all supported one another as mothers no matter what our personal situation might be maybe there would be less comparison. The focus should be happy mothers and happy children.
Julie!! You are an awesome mom! I know it's hard not to compare! I think no matter what stage or situation of motherhood you are in, it's hard no matter what. Mom guilt is everywhere. Everyone struggles with this. Joanna will and is learning so much from you because of the amazing woman you are and because of the decisions you are making for your family! And she's doing awesome because of it. I know the guilt is hard- I have it too! I have to work sometimes and let Cruz watch movies when I feel like I should be doing crafts with him (WHY CRAFTS?? I want to be crafty so bad! haha) But I have to work to help provide for us. I know how you feel- it just looks a little different on a daily basis for us!
ReplyDeletePlease come over for lunch again!! I would love to see you!
Awe...Thanks Jess! Like you've said so many times on your blog being a mom is just plain HARD! Yes, we need more lunch dates! I also need to come get those shelves.
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